i woke up and feel okay, i don't know what it is, but i really feel ok this time. I think I was growing apart from him towards the end and and that's what helped me. i fell in love and i probably always will no matter what, but i saw i didn't deserve the way he treated and now that i look back at all signs...wow, i can't even begin how many there were. ditching me, ignoring me, being rude, assuming things were already done, saying "you're just a distraction." that was a low blow.
i think it's happened so many times now that i'm becoming immune to it, although it did hurt, i see it clearly this time. you know, i wouldn't mind meeting up with him and talking about what happened, but i won't mention it, i don't really care anymore.
i think too much sometimes and that's why, the way i think about these situations and the way feel about them change so easily, i try making sense of them.
I finally have.
i've moved my curtains and my room seems brighter, so does my life.
I do not have any sort of hope left in me concerning him and i will not waste my time worrying anymore, i can do so so so much better.
It's going to be a beautiful day, spring makes all the difference.
I can breathe!
lately i've been listening to Mazzy Star's "So tonight that i might see" album
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