ADELE - 'Cold Shoulder'

let me cry

there are times i just want to cry, sit in a room alone and cry. Cry my fucking heart out and pour my whole heart out to the blank wall, why? because it wont judge me, it won't hurt me, it will neither love me, but it wont hurt me or scare me. it will just be there. i can hit it, scream at it, punch it, spit on it, and it will feel nothing, nothing but my meaningless blows.

this whole weekend all i wanted to do was cry. i was fine today, until now.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

The Blog of Innocence

The Blog of Innocence

unfortunate events

it seems like these are always happening between you and i and frankly like your friend advices me, it a ll leading to a bad ending. I will not listen. why? because im determined to show you that you can be happy.

but i don't want to be put in second place, not again.

sometimes i feel like i'm waiting for the right person, sometimes i wish it were you, but i know you're not. you're mr. right now, but for the long haul, no. I cry thinking about everything, i hate crying, but i can't help it, not when i'm going through all of this, plus being an only girl in house, i can't go to my mother for advice, nor my brothers. they wouldn't understand. my mother could, but she wouldn't think highly of me if she knew i have been lying to her. im quite mature, but i guess she doesn't see that.


back to you...im afraid again.
afraid you'll fall deep into her spell and deceive me again.


i feel so alone.

i guess i just don't to let go

i think we have something great going on

you slip again and that's it.

It ain't easy

 All of this happening again. Things are great, but i cannot deal with that situation again, i can't allow for you two to hang out again. And to think you would have been hanging out with her again, no fucking way, i'm sorry. It may seem like an ultimatum, it sort of is and i think i know what your answer will be....her.


just let me now right away, i really like you and i know you feel the same way, but if you can't be away from her, i suggest we leave this, "us" now.

valentine's day is tomorrow, i was/ am looking forward to it no matter what, maybe that will decide what happens between us, but if you take the road i know you want, then thank you for the lovely times.

please leave

off day

ive been so out of it. i dont know what it is. after that dream, i swear it's like my entire day was just ruined.

it wasn't a lovely dream, i woke up crying and in that instant i remembered what the dream was about, i couldn't call anyone at 4am, the person i wanted to call...i couldn't and so i kept crying until falling back to sleep. Waking up again i couldn't remember my dream. i knew it had to do with this. THIS.


i worry about us and i dont want to be second.

20

had an amazing birthday thanks to my brother. i love him for doing this or m and just being there.

watched the curse play, got drunk as hell, then the next day headed off to morongo and gambled a little, drank a little, and ate a  little. it was a good time.

21 is up next, all i can think of listening to the cranberries.

nightmare

i remember what it was when i was waking up, but now i just can't put my finger on it. I woke up crying and i've been having those types of dreams too frequently now. i don't like it.

he still hasnt come back yet and frankly i feel that he doesn't care about us anymore.

him, i don't know wether i should continue this, i adore him and want him, but does he want the same from me? will he be true? can i trust him? not entirely, i cant believe much that he says. nothing is official, but if or when he asks for the title, i don't think i want to say yes...

i feel like staying home, skipping school and not seeing anyone.