Chris Isaak Wicked Game

this boy is only gonna break your heart...

see what i did there? ha

such a hypnotizing song

cubicle

i didn't realize how much having my own room meant to me until i had to share it with my mom because of certain games she's trying to play with my dad. sure maybe i should move out if i want complete isolation, but i realized that although i may love and adore my family, i don't mind being away from them, maybe it's because they were hardly there growing up and when they did want to be there, we didn't want it. sure they support us financially, but if they want kick us out of the house, they can. we haven't done much for them to kick us out, but when we don't play by their rules, we get a slap on the hand now. nonetheless i seem like it's everything has been handed to me, not necessarily. i've had many early mornings accompanied by late nights and plenty of driving back to and from work or completely changing my day because of their work. i'm on call for their work 24/7. i clean the house which includes bathrooms and bedrooms, do laundry, and eventually i'll get to my room, which is rare. i really enjoy the time i spend alone in my room, listening to music, drawing, homework, reading, anything. it's my own personal sanctuary and i have personalized the hell out of it through the years. i feel like she's being so intrusive, but i feel terrible at the same time for feeling that way because she is the reason i have a room to sleep in in the first place, so for that i'll slap myself.



i'm not enjoying the total smack talking i'm getting from either.

notas a mi padre

how the hell do you expect us to give you respect after all you've done. Not just us, but our mother, your wife! it's been so long since i've felt compassion for you and i've lost all respect and pride in you. you really think she's better than my mother? she's taking all of your money away and leaving us with nothing, i could care less if you leave your kids with money or not, fuck, i'll get a job in the end if i have to, to make ends meet and quit school to help my family out, but don't do this to my mom, don't stick around, you're killing her mind and weakening her, just leave already, leave to be with her lazy, needy self, and her druggie, disrespectful kids. i can't even look you in the eyes anymore. you get the 20% you deserve and you'll never have the 80% my mom is, never will you find someone like her. she's been dealing with all your bullshit from the very beginning since before i was born; cheating, lying, and drinking, even beating her sometimes, but really? you are in your mid 50's and cannot even step up to the plate, we ALL know you're cheating and supporting another family who isn't even yours (who knows maybe they are) i don't know where everything failed, you've always been a dog, even when i was growing up i remember you leaving for weeks even months at a time to go drink your nights away and come home whenever you liked, leaving my mom to work and us alone. i remember the arguments and the bottle throwing, by the way you missed a couple times when you threw a couple at me.you should have hit me instead of mom. i cannot stand seeing you here, sleeping and eating in this house and leaving the weekend to be with her. you disgust me

he's like nothing i pictured him to be, even better actually, or at least that's how things always seem in the beginning of anyones relationship, be it romantically or just friendly. i first thought he was overly macho and too serious with his gucci shades and beanie (made him look like a douche honestly lol), but eventually he proved me wrong, serious and mature, but silly with almost a childlike fondness. his aztec appearance is the first thing that always catches my eyes, then it's the lightly curled hair, with the both nicely and oddly strands of genetically white hair placed at his widows peak, he's a god in my eyes. With that tight body, a girl can only dream right? And that personality just makes a total package. honestly when i first saw him i immediately thought he was quite the stud, but figured he was a douche so i showed no interest, then we got to know each other a little more and he's not at all, not at all. i plan on taking this guy to the art walk, who knew we both loved art and the same music. the age difference does still scare me a tad.

fleet foxes are usually what i play in order to study without getting distracted, they put me at ease and everyone should have given them a listen by now. this blood typing for anatomy has me up against a wall.





hope everyone had a great halloween weekend!

mine was good, not too crazy, but just the right amount of good fun. on a side note, when i went out for lunch and a movie with my friend james, we both came to a conclusion that every time we're just about ready to give up on the male species, some charming man (i can't help but think of the smiths... the smiths- this charming man) comes out of no where and begins to work his magic on us, but then again maybe it's our fault, no no, it is our fault for being so easily attracted to people who show interest, we may not give in easily to anything, but we sure find interest in people quite easily. at the moment it's a man i'm interested in, a man, like Javier Bardem, only a much younger and leaner version of him. He makes me weak, with his aztec looks and chiseled body, and those aztec tattoo's only make him better. once again i go doubting myself, but he's almost seven years my senior and surprise! he has a kid...exactly. god, i'm such a girl. where is my bro self at?