blog it out

now maybe i just feel hopeless and it bugs the hell out of me, but I just can't seem to help it.

im just going to rant and write things that have been on my mind, either good or bad, and just anything in between.

i feel like career wise i'm going nowhere.
my love life hasn't begun yet, which doesn't necessarily bug me, but it'd be nice to have someone by my side, everyone around has someone...i love love love seeing them all happy, but it depresses me at the same time. maybe i'm just not cut out for that ya know?

he called and says he doesn't deserve my friendship and he's right, he doesn't, but i'm not a cruel person, not like her and although he did what he did to me, i still manage to see the good in him, enough to still care and enough to still want him to find the happiness he wants. i'm alright with being acquaintances like i wrote before, but i never offered my friendship and i'm not offering it. that would be pretty unfair to me.

i'm too nice for my own good and i wish someone that got that and appreciated that would come along, it doesn't have to be now and it doesn't even have to be with the opposite sex, just anyone who would appreciate that. maybe i should become a nun? baha no

going to these 80's clubs was amazing! god i felt like i was home and was somewhere i belonged, i'll be going back for sure :)  (way to bring depeche mode in there lol) and the curse was amazing, i wasn't worried about anything, if anything it would have been nice running into him, but i honestly didn't end up caring about that.

my spring break is coming to an end and tonight i'm going out regardless, i dont care if i have to go out alone, i'm out tonight and tomorrow it's hw crunch time.

ps- i love you, those who are there for me and those who appreciate me.

new york in about 2 months!